Making
decisions
on behalf of
another
who you have
always turned to
in the past
for answers
is gut wrenchingly
painful
Letting go
of their
wishes
to return to
their home
rips your
heart into shreds
bleeding
with
disappointment and unwarranted guilt
Watching
disorientation
and frustration
at no
improvement
no matter
what the
doctors try
leaves you
feeling utterly helpless
With
complete loving
wanting what
is best
for the one
who tried their best for you
batters you
about
as you grasp
at straws
hoping for a
miracle
… but the
miracle doesn’t come.
The chill is
bitter
against your
soul
tears sit
like a dam
waiting to
explode
and you
wonder
for how long
the dam can hold
Inner
strength
outer façade
a life of
caring
when there
was no other
you feel
proud and grateful
yet wishing
you could do more
Fearlessly
you face the
corridor
folders in
hand
doctors’ recommendations
heavy heart
legs like
lead weights, you walk
Now here you
are
outside the
room to deliver the news
you swallow
the tears
take a
massive breath
practice
your smile
and enter
… and your
first words are … I love you.
© Dianne
Traynor 15 June 2012
(c) Photography by Dianne Traynor |
It's heard to find the right words to describe what I felt after reading this... I can only hope that you're holding strong.
ReplyDeleteThank you Tom .. it is in the writing that I find renewed strength when I feel the well is empty .. it is such a blessing.
ReplyDelete